Your Wedding Advice - StrictlyWeddings.com Blog

Connecting with “The Dad”

Getting your dad to like your fiancé (and vice versa) may be a challenging task. The two most important men in your life may seemingly have nothing in common. Your fiancé may be a football fanatic who likes to hang with his “buds,” whereas your father may prefer computers or watching the History channel. That said, you want them to get along to the point that family gatherings are comfortable. What are a few ways to gently push their bonding in the right direction?

Easing the Tension

The nature of the relationship between a man and his father-in-law can be tense, at first. Your father has been protective of you since you were born and marrying you off is no different. Once you’ve signaled that you’ve found the right guy, the ice between your father and your fiancé may only need some melting. Your goal is simply to give your fiancé and your father a chance to get to know each other and find commonalities on their own.

First and foremost – don’t try to force the issue. Relations between the two need not be as strong as between your husband and his best friends. There’s nothing wrong with them being acquaintances rather than great buddies. Educate each one separately on commonalities they have so that each will have a place to start a conversation. Just a few topics can grow into others undiscovered.

Use your siblings

If you’ve got brothers, they may be holding out judgement as well. Yet more likely they are close enough in age that there are shared experiences (college, sports, computer games) that can help smooth those waters. If they’re all local, plan something at your place or at a local pub. Hopefully, they’ll like your guy, which will be a big step in getting dad on board. Or you may even suggest to your fiancé he take the initiative and organize an afternoon at the driving range together (or baseball game, etc.). If all goes well, include your dad in the next invitation. It’s a way for the group of them to bond without having to be overt about it.

Spending time together

Given that the tie in the relationship between your dad and your fiancé is you, you can be the social link between them. Invite them both out for lunch, with you in tow. Invite your mom and dad to a double date at a movie. There’s no speaking required between them during the movie itself, and yet they are spending time together. Not just that, both parents will feel better that you’re not excluding them in your future life and that you still want to spend time with them.

The goal is that your fiance and dad have more to talk about then just the weather.

Photo from the movie “Father of the Bride.”

3 Comments on “Connecting with “The Dad””

• Ali July 8th, 2009 7:06 pm

  Ok, my parents loved this movie, and nothing could be more true than the info that you gave us in this post…thank you….great read.

• Sandy July 8th, 2009 7:03 pm

  Well, who could not love this post-thanks for the memories…

• Emily July 8th, 2009 12:12 pm

  This is such a great post. This blog is so entertaining and helpful! I have had 3 friends in the past 3 months get engaged and I send all of them to StrictlyWeddings.com. Keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply