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A Grooms Point of View

Finding tidbits of information for the groom or from the groom’s perspective can be tricky. We wouldn’t even know where to begin to write from a man’s point of view. So when we came across this article from www.manregistery.com on “What Grooms Won’t Do,” we had to share…

1. Say “Fab” – No matter how “fab” something is … no matter how hard you try to drill it voodoo-style into our vocabulary … we’ll never say it. There could be a million Swarovski crystals hanging from a single centerpiece … we still won’t say it. It’s not you. It’s us.

2. Multitask At Your Level – Somewhere in our DNA we lack the chromosome that allows us to have six browser windows open while simultaneously emailing our wedding party, texting the photographer, faxing contracts, and phone conferencing with vendors. So pat us on the head and let us work at our own pace.

3. Cry Over Minor Milestones – We may tear up on the day, but don’t expect us to cry when we book the old school photo booth. We’re excited about it, too, but our lacrimal glands are limited — we need to save up our tears for the big day. We do that for you.

4. Help Plan Your Bachelorette Party – This doesn’t apply to every bride … but some do like their man’s advice when planning their last night of single womanhood. We won’t do it. It’s not that we’re uncomfortable with the idea. And we’re certainly not jealous, no matter how many police officers in tear away pants you may hire. We’re just afraid that you’ll want to reciprocate and help plan our bachelor party. And that’s just not an option.

5. Admit How Involved We Are – We know. You’re just thrilled that you are the one bride among all your bride friends who has the guy who’s involved. And, without hesitation, you’ll announce this at social gatherings, game nights, double dates, shindigs and soirees — but we won’t admit to it. We’ll laugh and deny it and quickly change the subject, especially in mixed company. So let’s keep our enthusiasm between us.

Source: ManRegistry.com

Photograph courtesy of Jai Girard Photography, Chicago

The Helpful Fiance – help him, help you!

• Start slowly! Every woman wants help from her groom, but overwhelming him with too many wedding details that he hasn’t formed opinions about will overload him.
• Start simple with choices about things guys are interested in: music entertainment, alcohol, photographers, and food. He’s not ready to make decisions on centerpieces, decorations, and table linens (and may never be!).
• Compromise. This is a new world to your groom. All of his ideas may not be winners. However, if you want his help, don’t shoot down every idea he’s got.  A little trust goes a long way!
• When you’re on a tight budget you generally pick three items you’re willing to spend money on, and cut costs everywhere else. Do the same thing with wedding decisions. Pick 3 that you feel strongly about and compromise everywhere else. It’s BOTH of your days and perhaps the biggest party you’ll throw.
• Find fun blogs online and browse them together or send them to him (There’s lots of great info right here in our blog so send him to some of our resources). There are blogs expressing every viewpoint out there. If he connects with other guys getting married he’ll be more willing to help plan. Reading other groom’s stories are the best way to realize he’s not alone!
• Start a website together. There are tons of free website services to keep your guests well informed. Picking colors for the website is a good way to talk about picking the colors for your wedding!. Guys are more visual than women. If you describe chocolate & pink table runners, he doesn’t know what it looks like, but if you pick the colors for the website he’ll immediately connect. Or show him pictures of the colors online; he’ll be able to see what they look like.
• Remember to have fun. This should be the happiest time of your life. If it’s not, take a step back, go out on a date and don’t talk weddings. Taking a night off is a great way not to overwhelm BOTH of you.

Resource: Templeofgroom.com

Photograph courtesy of Rick Aguilar – Chicago

Connecting with “The Dad”

Getting your dad to like your fiancé (and vice versa) may be a challenging task. The two most important men in your life may seemingly have nothing in common. Your fiancé may be a football fanatic who likes to hang with his “buds,” whereas your father may prefer computers or watching the History channel. That said, you want them to get along to the point that family gatherings are comfortable. What are a few ways to gently push their bonding in the right direction?

Easing the Tension

The nature of the relationship between a man and his father-in-law can be tense, at first. Your father has been protective of you since you were born and marrying you off is no different. Once you’ve signaled that you’ve found the right guy, the ice between your father and your fiancé may only need some melting. Your goal is simply to give your fiancé and your father a chance to get to know each other and find commonalities on their own.

First and foremost – don’t try to force the issue. Relations between the two need not be as strong as between your husband and his best friends. There’s nothing wrong with them being acquaintances rather than great buddies. Educate each one separately on commonalities they have so that each will have a place to start a conversation. Just a few topics can grow into others undiscovered.

Use your siblings

If you’ve got brothers, they may be holding out judgement as well. Yet more likely they are close enough in age that there are shared experiences (college, sports, computer games) that can help smooth those waters. If they’re all local, plan something at your place or at a local pub. Hopefully, they’ll like your guy, which will be a big step in getting dad on board. Or you may even suggest to your fiancé he take the initiative and organize an afternoon at the driving range together (or baseball game, etc.). If all goes well, include your dad in the next invitation. It’s a way for the group of them to bond without having to be overt about it.

Spending time together

Given that the tie in the relationship between your dad and your fiancé is you, you can be the social link between them. Invite them both out for lunch, with you in tow. Invite your mom and dad to a double date at a movie. There’s no speaking required between them during the movie itself, and yet they are spending time together. Not just that, both parents will feel better that you’re not excluding them in your future life and that you still want to spend time with them.

The goal is that your fiance and dad have more to talk about then just the weather.

Photo from the movie “Father of the Bride.”

Tips for Writing a Perfect Valentine’s Day Love Letter

• Get a beautiful and romantic sheet of paper, preferably of high quality. (Get plenty of sheets for those mistakes or rewrites that may occur)
• Write the letter when you are in a good mood.
• Clear your mind of any distractions and focus on your beloved. (You may keep his/her photograph in front of you to set the mood.)
• Play your favorite music if it inspires you.
• On a rough sheet of paper jot down the unique qualities in your beloved and your plans for the future with him/her.
• Always hand write the letter to give it a more personal touch.
• Write with a fountain pen instead of ball pen, as it appears more elegant (and won’t smear as bad). Your beloved may preserve this letter for years so make sure it looks as beautiful years after.
• Pay special attention to the opening and closing of the letter to leave a greater impact.
• Personalize the love letter depending on the stage of relationship you are at present.
• Write from your heart in simple sentences and in an easy to understand language.
• Avoid underlining the words and do not use all caps as it looks like you are yelling.
• In the body of the love letter you may write the special qualities of your beloved. Ideally emotional, physical and spiritual qualities in a person should be highlighted to make the recipient feel loved.
• You may share your hopes and dreams for the future along with your partner.
• Be truthful in your letter and avoid making promises you will not be able to keep and cause a feeling of distrust in your beloved.
• One page is an ideal length for a love letter. You may write more if you are comfortable with your partner but don’t make it too long.
• Avoid mentioning anyone else in your love letter. Just talk about your beloved and yourself.
• Give a high-impact closing to your love letter in a way that it sums up your feelings in a beautiful way. For instance, “I will love you always,” “Loving you forever,” “My heart is yours,” are considered to be a romantic closing for a letter.
• Always sign the love letter. You can use a “pet” name to provide more intimacy (just know that this could be a nickname your children may see as well)
• Go through the letter one or two times to check if you have conveyed your feelings effectively.
• Use thesaurus to choose perfect words for your feelings.
• Check for spelling and grammatical errors as this kind of errors convey carelessness.
• To add more style, you may stick a small photograph of yours to the top of the love letter. This will make your beloved view the photograph and reflect on you with fondness as he/she admires the content of the letter.
• Spray a fragrant perfume on the letter.
• Select a special stamp from the post office.
• Drop the letter in the mailbox and wait for the response. Or hand deliver it (especially if you’re just a few days away from Valentine’s Day).

Groom’s Gift to the Bride

One of the loveliest wedding traditions involves the special gifts that the bride and groom exchange before the wedding. The wedding gifts are usually presented either the night before the wedding in person, or by sending it to where the bride or groom is getting ready right before the ceremony. The latter is particularly common in the case of the groom’s gift to his bride. Of course the options are endless, but the right gift should be personal, romantic, and timeless. That is why the most popular gift for the bride is jewelry; not only is it all three of those things, but the perfect piece will also take her breath away.

(If you have a down-to-earth girl, there are still an array of gift ideas that are not jewerly, but that’s another blog!)

Choosing wedding jewelry to present as a gift can be difficult. It is important that the groom understands that the bride may not wear the piece he has given her during the marriage ceremony. (Gentlemen, please do not be offended by this!) What men often do not realize is that most brides will already have their wedding jewelry planned by this point. Whether she will be wearing a family heirloom or new bridal jewelry that she has carefully selected to coordinate with her gown, it is likely that the bride has already purchased or borrowed all of her accessories.

This is not to say that a groom should not give his bride-to-be a fabulous piece of jewelry as a wedding gift! If you would be very disappointed not to see that special necklace or pair of earrings adorning your bride as she walks down the aisle, there are some things that you can do.

• Drop hints to your fiancee that she is not to purchase any wedding jewelry. You may think that this will ruin the surprise, but believe me, your bride will love the anticipation of waiting to receive your very special gift. 
• Enlist her mother or a bridesmaid to help you select the wedding jewelry. That way, you can be sure that the necklace, earrings, or bracelet will be perfect with the bride’s gown.

If you prefer to keep the wedding gift a complete surprise, there are a couple of other ways that you can present it to your bride.

• Give it to her the day before the wedding. As she is getting dressed for the rehearsal dinner, take a moment to give her that tiny little box. That way she can wear your gift to the rehearsal dinner even if it does not work for the day of the wedding. 
• Another fabulous idea would be to have the gift sent to her right before the ceremony with a note saying how excited you are to see her wear the jewelry on your honeymoon.

The wedding gifts that a bride and groom give one another will always be remembered. It is a great way for the groom to show the bride how much he looks forward to starting their life together. A piece of wedding jewelry is something that the bride will love for years after the wedding, as it will always remind her of the romance of that very special day.

Visit one of our wonderful StrictlyWeddings.com Jewelry Partners for your gift.

The Perfect Tuxedo

Even though the groom doesn’t have quite the angst that brides have in selecting their wedding attire, it’s still important that he feels as “dashing or handsome” as the bride does beautiful. Below are a few ideas as he begins his search.

Rent or Buy?

If the groom will wear a tuxedo a few times in the future, it makes perfect sense to purchase and invest in a quality tuxedo. However, if the groom will not be wearing a tuxedo much and has his eye on a look that he is less likely to wear again, then it makes more sense to rent his attire for the wedding. A cut-away coat is a trend currently being worn, but it is a coat he would be less likely to wear again, so this is a situation when renting is cost effective.

Body Shape

If the groom has a shape that is hard to fit, then choosing to buy a tuxedo or suit is the best way to go and you can have it tailored to fit his body type. Choosing a style that uniquely fits his shape is crucial to the fit and comfort of the attire for the groom. A three or four-button suit lengthens the appearance of his body and gives added height to his appearance. The groom should avoid slacks and cuffs and try something along the lines of a peak-lapel jacket. A man with broad shoulders and a broad
build will fit better and feel more comfortable in a single-breasted jacket.

Trendy or Not?

If the groom likes to stay in tune with the latest styles and trends, it’s important not to overdo it on the big day. Going with the trends for a waistcoat or shirt color along with the bride is acceptable, but he should stick with one variation. Hot trends right now include black four-in-hand ties and waistcoats.

Year-round Style Guide

(Source: Brides.com)

Daytime Informal   

Winter

• Dark business suit, navy-blue blazer with khaki trousers, navy-blue blazer with cream or white flannel trousers
• Plain shirt with four-in-hand tie (aka standard long necktie)
• Plain coordinating shoes 

Summer

• Light-colored suit or navy-blue blazer with khaki, white, or cream linen trousers
• Plain shirt with four-in-hand tie
• Plain coordinating shoes

Daytime Semiformal

• Black or dark-gray sack coat, gray waistcoat
• White pleated shirt or soft white shirt with standard four-in-hand tie
• Plain black shoes

Daytime Formal

• Black or gray morning coat (cutaway) with black- or gray-striped trousers and gray waistcoat
• Starched white shirt with turndown collar and a black-and-gray striped tie or dress ascot
• Gray gloves
• Black patent-leather dress shoes

Evening Informal

Winter

• Dark business suit or tuxedo, depending on bride’s level of formality

Summer

• Navy or light-colored business suit or tuxedo, depending on bride’s level of formality

Evening Semiformal

Winter

• Tuxedo

Summer

• Tuxedo or white dinner jacket with formal black trousers
• White pleated shirt with turndown collar
• Black vest or cummerbund and matching bow tie or cravat (a short, wide tie)
• Black patent-leather dress shoes or plain black calfskin shoes

Evening Formal

• Black tailcoat and trousers
• White piqué waistcoat
• White starched-bosom shirt with wing collar
• White bow tie
• White gloves
• Black patent-leather dress shoes

Groomsmen – Accessories Provide Unique Touch

Throughout Europe, formal men’s wear has been transformed and redefined. Design houses such as Pal Zileri of Italy have updated the tuxedo by introducing elements of style borrowed from formal suits. Accessories for grooms have become as important as accessories for brides. Choices for neckwear include bowties, traditional ties, ascots, four-in-hand ties and neck scarves called cravats. Vests in deep rich tones and patterns are cut higher. Cufflinks, neck pins and button covers add sophistication. Patterned shirts in tone-on-tone prints add a further element of design.

While the basic rule is that the more formal the wedding, the less color the groom and groomsmen should wear, as with women’s wedding fashions, rules were made to be broken by those confident enough to make their own choices. Many grooms are purchasing their own shirts and accessories as a lasting momento of their wedding. Brides are also choosing to purchase these accessories as a special wedding gift for their groom. Pal Zileri has opened the Venetian Grand Canal Shops in Las Vegas.

Great Gifts For Groom

Cartier 
Looking for the ultimate classic investment piece? Cartier’s tank style gives off a stately air with bold roman numerals and lustrous stainless design.

Tag Heuer 
The traditional scuba diving watch meets its modern match with a sleek square, onyx face. Keep this one for the office, not the ocean.

Hermes 
Add a pop of color to his wardrobe with this deep cobalt tank watch. With a graphic modern face and a simpler leather band, you can’t miss with this pick.

David Yurman 
If your hubby to be prefers to spend a long weekend at the Hampton Classic over the White Sox game, snatch up a a pair of equestrian-inspired cufflinks.

Let’s Hear It For The Boys!

Having good quality wedding boutonnieres can really make a difference to how the male members of the wedding party look. It is the finishing touch that that can provide a sense of style.

Although it is only a small flower, there are many elegant ways to give your wedding boutonnieres a chic look. Little embellishments such as the creative use of foliage, wire and beads can make a huge difference.