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Are You a Groom Planning the Honeymoon?

Many couples plan the honeymoon together, yet the honeymoon was traditionally the groom’s responsibility to plan. Whether you (the groom) are planning it by yourself or with your bride, here are a few reminders.

• Plan early. The best resorts can fill up a year in advance. We generally recommend that you book about nine months in advance.
• What do you enjoy together? Think about your shared interests.Do you like to golf or snorkel together? Do you share a hobby like photography? Why not add some of these elements to your honeymoon to make it even more memorable?
• Good Food makes for Good Times. Food is an often overlooked element of the honeymoon. There is nothing worse than being in a resort that offers nothing that you enjoy eating.
• Surprises or extras win brownie points. Throw in something unexpected, like a cooking class or a couple’s massage.

(Photo from recent post on St. Lucia’s Ladera Resort)

Just a few friendly reminders from StrictlyWeddings.com! Check out our other tips and ideas for Grooms and Honeymoons.

The Helpful Fiance – help him, help you!

• Start slowly! Every woman wants help from her groom, but overwhelming him with too many wedding details that he hasn’t formed opinions about will overload him.
• Start simple with choices about things guys are interested in: music entertainment, alcohol, photographers, and food. He’s not ready to make decisions on centerpieces, decorations, and table linens (and may never be!).
• Compromise. This is a new world to your groom. All of his ideas may not be winners. However, if you want his help, don’t shoot down every idea he’s got.  A little trust goes a long way!
• When you’re on a tight budget you generally pick three items you’re willing to spend money on, and cut costs everywhere else. Do the same thing with wedding decisions. Pick 3 that you feel strongly about and compromise everywhere else. It’s BOTH of your days and perhaps the biggest party you’ll throw.
• Find fun blogs online and browse them together or send them to him (There’s lots of great info right here in our blog so send him to some of our resources). There are blogs expressing every viewpoint out there. If he connects with other guys getting married he’ll be more willing to help plan. Reading other groom’s stories are the best way to realize he’s not alone!
• Start a website together. There are tons of free website services to keep your guests well informed. Picking colors for the website is a good way to talk about picking the colors for your wedding!. Guys are more visual than women. If you describe chocolate & pink table runners, he doesn’t know what it looks like, but if you pick the colors for the website he’ll immediately connect. Or show him pictures of the colors online; he’ll be able to see what they look like.
• Remember to have fun. This should be the happiest time of your life. If it’s not, take a step back, go out on a date and don’t talk weddings. Taking a night off is a great way not to overwhelm BOTH of you.

Resource: Templeofgroom.com

Photograph courtesy of Rick Aguilar – Chicago

Connecting with “The Dad”

Getting your dad to like your fiancé (and vice versa) may be a challenging task. The two most important men in your life may seemingly have nothing in common. Your fiancé may be a football fanatic who likes to hang with his “buds,” whereas your father may prefer computers or watching the History channel. That said, you want them to get along to the point that family gatherings are comfortable. What are a few ways to gently push their bonding in the right direction?

Easing the Tension

The nature of the relationship between a man and his father-in-law can be tense, at first. Your father has been protective of you since you were born and marrying you off is no different. Once you’ve signaled that you’ve found the right guy, the ice between your father and your fiancé may only need some melting. Your goal is simply to give your fiancé and your father a chance to get to know each other and find commonalities on their own.

First and foremost – don’t try to force the issue. Relations between the two need not be as strong as between your husband and his best friends. There’s nothing wrong with them being acquaintances rather than great buddies. Educate each one separately on commonalities they have so that each will have a place to start a conversation. Just a few topics can grow into others undiscovered.

Use your siblings

If you’ve got brothers, they may be holding out judgement as well. Yet more likely they are close enough in age that there are shared experiences (college, sports, computer games) that can help smooth those waters. If they’re all local, plan something at your place or at a local pub. Hopefully, they’ll like your guy, which will be a big step in getting dad on board. Or you may even suggest to your fiancé he take the initiative and organize an afternoon at the driving range together (or baseball game, etc.). If all goes well, include your dad in the next invitation. It’s a way for the group of them to bond without having to be overt about it.

Spending time together

Given that the tie in the relationship between your dad and your fiancé is you, you can be the social link between them. Invite them both out for lunch, with you in tow. Invite your mom and dad to a double date at a movie. There’s no speaking required between them during the movie itself, and yet they are spending time together. Not just that, both parents will feel better that you’re not excluding them in your future life and that you still want to spend time with them.

The goal is that your fiance and dad have more to talk about then just the weather.

Photo from the movie “Father of the Bride.”

Groom’s Gift to the Bride

One of the loveliest wedding traditions involves the special gifts that the bride and groom exchange before the wedding. The wedding gifts are usually presented either the night before the wedding in person, or by sending it to where the bride or groom is getting ready right before the ceremony. The latter is particularly common in the case of the groom’s gift to his bride. Of course the options are endless, but the right gift should be personal, romantic, and timeless. That is why the most popular gift for the bride is jewelry; not only is it all three of those things, but the perfect piece will also take her breath away.

(If you have a down-to-earth girl, there are still an array of gift ideas that are not jewerly, but that’s another blog!)

Choosing wedding jewelry to present as a gift can be difficult. It is important that the groom understands that the bride may not wear the piece he has given her during the marriage ceremony. (Gentlemen, please do not be offended by this!) What men often do not realize is that most brides will already have their wedding jewelry planned by this point. Whether she will be wearing a family heirloom or new bridal jewelry that she has carefully selected to coordinate with her gown, it is likely that the bride has already purchased or borrowed all of her accessories.

This is not to say that a groom should not give his bride-to-be a fabulous piece of jewelry as a wedding gift! If you would be very disappointed not to see that special necklace or pair of earrings adorning your bride as she walks down the aisle, there are some things that you can do.

• Drop hints to your fiancee that she is not to purchase any wedding jewelry. You may think that this will ruin the surprise, but believe me, your bride will love the anticipation of waiting to receive your very special gift. 
• Enlist her mother or a bridesmaid to help you select the wedding jewelry. That way, you can be sure that the necklace, earrings, or bracelet will be perfect with the bride’s gown.

If you prefer to keep the wedding gift a complete surprise, there are a couple of other ways that you can present it to your bride.

• Give it to her the day before the wedding. As she is getting dressed for the rehearsal dinner, take a moment to give her that tiny little box. That way she can wear your gift to the rehearsal dinner even if it does not work for the day of the wedding. 
• Another fabulous idea would be to have the gift sent to her right before the ceremony with a note saying how excited you are to see her wear the jewelry on your honeymoon.

The wedding gifts that a bride and groom give one another will always be remembered. It is a great way for the groom to show the bride how much he looks forward to starting their life together. A piece of wedding jewelry is something that the bride will love for years after the wedding, as it will always remind her of the romance of that very special day.

Visit one of our wonderful StrictlyWeddings.com Jewelry Partners for your gift.

The Perfect Tuxedo

Even though the groom doesn’t have quite the angst that brides have in selecting their wedding attire, it’s still important that he feels as “dashing or handsome” as the bride does beautiful. Below are a few ideas as he begins his search.

Rent or Buy?

If the groom will wear a tuxedo a few times in the future, it makes perfect sense to purchase and invest in a quality tuxedo. However, if the groom will not be wearing a tuxedo much and has his eye on a look that he is less likely to wear again, then it makes more sense to rent his attire for the wedding. A cut-away coat is a trend currently being worn, but it is a coat he would be less likely to wear again, so this is a situation when renting is cost effective.

Body Shape

If the groom has a shape that is hard to fit, then choosing to buy a tuxedo or suit is the best way to go and you can have it tailored to fit his body type. Choosing a style that uniquely fits his shape is crucial to the fit and comfort of the attire for the groom. A three or four-button suit lengthens the appearance of his body and gives added height to his appearance. The groom should avoid slacks and cuffs and try something along the lines of a peak-lapel jacket. A man with broad shoulders and a broad
build will fit better and feel more comfortable in a single-breasted jacket.

Trendy or Not?

If the groom likes to stay in tune with the latest styles and trends, it’s important not to overdo it on the big day. Going with the trends for a waistcoat or shirt color along with the bride is acceptable, but he should stick with one variation. Hot trends right now include black four-in-hand ties and waistcoats.

Year-round Style Guide

(Source: Brides.com)

Daytime Informal   

Winter

• Dark business suit, navy-blue blazer with khaki trousers, navy-blue blazer with cream or white flannel trousers
• Plain shirt with four-in-hand tie (aka standard long necktie)
• Plain coordinating shoes 

Summer

• Light-colored suit or navy-blue blazer with khaki, white, or cream linen trousers
• Plain shirt with four-in-hand tie
• Plain coordinating shoes

Daytime Semiformal

• Black or dark-gray sack coat, gray waistcoat
• White pleated shirt or soft white shirt with standard four-in-hand tie
• Plain black shoes

Daytime Formal

• Black or gray morning coat (cutaway) with black- or gray-striped trousers and gray waistcoat
• Starched white shirt with turndown collar and a black-and-gray striped tie or dress ascot
• Gray gloves
• Black patent-leather dress shoes

Evening Informal

Winter

• Dark business suit or tuxedo, depending on bride’s level of formality

Summer

• Navy or light-colored business suit or tuxedo, depending on bride’s level of formality

Evening Semiformal

Winter

• Tuxedo

Summer

• Tuxedo or white dinner jacket with formal black trousers
• White pleated shirt with turndown collar
• Black vest or cummerbund and matching bow tie or cravat (a short, wide tie)
• Black patent-leather dress shoes or plain black calfskin shoes

Evening Formal

• Black tailcoat and trousers
• White piqué waistcoat
• White starched-bosom shirt with wing collar
• White bow tie
• White gloves
• Black patent-leather dress shoes